“Liar.”
“You’re none of the things you stand for.”
“You’re not nice.”
“You’re not compassionate.”
“Liar.”

“You don’t know what kindness is.”
“You don’t know how to be a friend.”
“You do not forgive, forgive, forgive.”
“You are not who you say you are.”
“Liar.”

And the one that somehow stung the worst–

“There’s no reason to take this personally–
I’m just telling you what I think.
You’re not as good as you say you are.”

and

“I can’t stick around to watch you hurt him again.
You used him.
I stayed and watched you use him.
You’re a fucking liar.
Why can’t you just
not be a whore.
I honestly don’t blame him.
I don’t blame him for not wanting you.”

“Liar…”

I have one thing to say to you-
Screw you.
Screw you and your doubt inducing,
un-instigated,
self-righteous
put-downs.

I latched onto your words.
I latched onto the liar
you told me I was.

I detached myself from
the person I wanted to be
to believe in something
I never even was.

I believed in the whore
you religiously wished me to be.

I was determined to hate myself
the way you hated everything
you knew I wasn’t–
But prayed cruely
that I would believe I was
so you could
rise higher than me
and watch me sink below.

But my dear–

I have grown into something that
you can only pray to someday see.

I have risen to the top of the mountain
you were trying to climb.
I fought and fought
to reach this point.
You fought and fought
not to rise,
but to grab my ankles and drag me down.

As I rest for a moment–
Waiting to catch this breath
that I’ve lost looking out
over the beauty of everything
I conquered–

As I rest for a moment–
waiting to begin the next climb–

I can only hope
that you make it this far–
To see how beautiful it can be
to let go of the things holding you down.

To rise steadily on your own,
without trying to climb over someone else.

I hope you rise
and become the person
I know you can be.

Rise
and feel
the release of a million weights
of unforgiveness
shed
like leaves in the fall.

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